Friday, January 04, 2013
There's this couple at my church. They've been married about twenty years. I love seeing them together. They both have a wicked sense of humor and nothing makes me smile as much as watching them tease each other in public. The way she bends over when she laughs, the twinkle is his eye: it's really priceless.
One of the toughest things about being Abouna and Tasoni is dealing with our public relationship. I hate the fact that I have to think twice before I take his hand or tuck myself under his arm. I never ever hesitated about this before. We were a young, modern, carefree couple. Now we're so busy guarding our Abouna/Tasoni personas, that it is nearly impossible to love publicly. Add to that old-fashioned Egyptian values that make everything taboo, and I'm paralyzed!
Last week the church family went out to a restaurant. When Abouna walked in late, I rushed to meet him. I was so happy that he'd made it. But then as I got closer I realized... everyone is watching. What am I supposed to do? Hug or not hug? Kiss or not kiss? Am I smiling enough? Am I grinning too big? That makes me want to burst into tears right here on this page. Will we ever be secure enough in our new positions that being together in public won't be such a big deal?
Abouna has a very important note to make about this which is that we wouldn't want to hurt people who are not in loving relationships. But I argue that it's completely the opposite. It's important that people see a successful relationship. Those who aren't married yet will have living proof that there is love after marriage. Those who are married might be inspired and rekindle the romance.
Thoughts? Advice?
Who cares what they think? We can't live our lives like Goha, riding the horse or walking beside the horse, or carrying the horse... people will be people. Do whatever you want, whatever you believe is holy in the sight of God. I know, I know. Easier said than done, eh?
ReplyDelete"For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." gal 1:10
Glad to see another update!
I do love that verse :), and I certainly don't want to be Goha! Thanks for the reminder.
DeleteYou should do what makes you feel comfortable. No one wants you to feel constricted and in conflict with yourself. Just be yourself. I know I don't want you to have a person vs. self conflict and I'm sure everyone here agrees with me! I'll say this again do what makes you feel comfortable!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right! I should do what makes me feel comfortable :). Now to figure out what that is...
DeleteI don't think that my personal choice of being in a relationship or not / working on a not-so-great relationship or not, should limit or control other people's relationships!!
ReplyDeleteIf I'm in an abusive relationship, and I'm offended by a successful relationship, then I'm not really examining/understanding where I fell short!
Don't be sheepish displaying your love for a man loved by everybody! He chose you & you chose him long before anybody else crashed in the picture.
Maybe not "offended" but hurt, sad? But you're right--the sheepishness has to go! It just doesn't suit me. And "lol" to the idea that everyone else just "crashed in" on our amazing party.
Delete