Marriage is hard. I never understood what people meant by that when I was single. I took it to mean it was a pain in the butt and not worth the trouble and so balked at the phrase. Even now it makes me uncomfortable to say it for that very reason. What if you, dear reader, misunderstand and think it means "Run!"
So I'll start instead by saying riding a bicycle is hard. The first time my father took the training wheels off, I shook in terror and excitement. He held on to the back as I pedaled increasingly fast until he shouted teasingly, "Hey! I let go!" I immediately panicked and crashed and scraped my knee. And every bit of that--even scraping my knee--is one of the fondest memories I have.
That is marriage. Some of us have rockier starts than others, but every bit of it--including scraping your knee--is absolutely worth it.
Some people quit so early. A year or two years in they say, "Enough of this nonsense!" Ironically, marriage is like wine, or... like the stock market. If you quit early, you will lose. You will think you saved yourself, but, unfortunately, you will just never know the millions you could have cashed in later. You'll never know the sweetness that comes with time.
"But my wife/husband is terrible!" Oh, please. Unless he's beating you or cheating on you, take a deep breath. You are far from perfect, cupcake. Some of the kinds of things that have broken up marriages are to me beyond laughable. A marriage isn't a friendship. Enough of this jumping in, jumping out nonsense.
A marriage is a trust. You trust someone else to hold your soul. You open up to someone 100%. They know you like no one else. They hear your farts at night and like it. I can't imagine what divorce does to a person's psyche. To have the person you entrusted your soul to hand your soul back and say, "Ew" and "Uh, no thanks. Your soul is just too ugly for me. I deserve better."
You deserve? Since when? Since when do human beings deserve anything? From dust we were formed and to dust we will return. Don't waste that time on this petty thought that you deserve something.
Marry well. And then let God work. Over years. Like a glacier. Carve each other's souls into shapes acceptable to Christ. And by God, I hope it hurts. I hope you scrape your knee and cry a little and hug each other in the darkness and remember that it's all so worth it. And then cash in in eternity.
I heard a woman talk about her marriage once. She said both her parents and his thought it wouldn't work out. That the marriage wouldn't last. "They were right," she said with a sly smile, "It didn't last very long. After 35 years of marriage, he passed away and left me." Cash in, people. Cash in... At the right time. With the last breath.
